Reading One-Star Terry Pratchett Reviews
Today I’m going to be… diving into the lions’ den. I’m reading five reviews that should be hilarious but will probably just hurt me, because they’ll be disparaging my favorite author and some of my favorite books. I’ve picked out five that I want to read and talk about in this post, but it’s gonna be hard. A few of these are really painful, but I’m going to power through.
Reaper Man
Before I share the review with you, I just want to say that I noticed a pattern in some of these reviews. A lot of people reviewed the book one star for reasons that had nothing at all to do with the contents of the books. There are plenty of folks saying that they couldn’t get the book downloaded, didn’t like the digital edition as much as the physical, the book was damaged, etc. These have nothing to do with the book itself. Your taste in editions, inability to figure out how technology works, and shipping issues you experience should not make their way into your star rating for a book. If you’re someone who does this, please cancel your internet and mobile data plans, then give away your electronics. You don’t belong on the Internet.
Review #1
Okay, now here's the review:
I know that this one's long and kinda hard to read, so I'm transcribing it for you here:
I've always been a bit mystified how Pratchett, with his grating poor-man's-Adams style and paper-thin characters, receives such universal acclaim. I decided to dive into Discworld after hearing from nearly everybody how absurd and funny the books are, and the early entries did nothing but frustrate me. However, since everybody claims the later entries are superior to the first few, I picked up Guards! Guards! and Reaper Man, and they were bad enough to convince me to give up on this author.
This novel consists of two halves, one of which - Death having to live among mortals - is a good idea that could have been executed much better. The idea of Death himself having to live among humans could, from a stronger author, have led to any number of insights on our own mortality and the human condition. Instead, all we get is that Death is a good farmhand because he's handy with a scythe, and he hates clocks. I suppose it's very insightful and moving if you're 14, but it's hard to see this storyline as anything other than wasted potential.
The other half isn't even a badly-executed good idea - it's just a bad idea from the outset. Windle Poons is supposed to die of old age, fails to because Death isn't on duty, comes back as a zombie with super strength and wanders around meeting all kinds of uninteresting characters. This is intended to be the zany, comedic side of the story, but it commits the cardinal sin of just not being very funny. This half is dragged down considerably by a lengthy subplot about killer shopping carts, along with nonstop unfunny bickering between one-dimensional wizard characters. The whole thing is irritating and badly plotted, and certain gags that aren't funny the first time (such as a wizard replying to everything with "Yo") get hammered home and revisited far, far too often.
I've seen many people make the claim that Discworld is a mirror that satirizes our own world, but to me Pratchett's attempts at doing this are far too straightforward and clumsy to be very interesting. Time to move on.
I could honestly do an entire post just on this review, but I’m not going to. Right off the bat, I’ll just acknowledge that you—just like me—can have your own opinion. Opinions are subjective. So you know what, if Terry Pratchett isn’t your cup of tea, that’s fine. It’s weird, I don’t get it, but that’s your taste. What I do want to say is that some of these are stated as objective truths when they definitely aren’t. Paper-thin characters? Really? And he calls the wizards one-dimensional.
Additionally, while Reaper Man does have some commentary on mortality and humanity, the other books in the Death collection have far more. Reaper Man’s commentary focuses on other areas, like commercialism, labor, and reproduction/biology. If you think the B-story about the evil shopping malls is poorly-executed, whatever, but a bad idea? Really? It’s hysterical and insightful.
Right from the start, though, I knew this was going to be a review from someone who kinda just set out not wanting to like Terry Pratchett, and thus found evidence to prove the theory that Pratchett is a terrible author. I can understand not enjoying the early books—Color of Magic is probably my least favorite of the Discworld books—but coming back and reading two of the best and having them just happen to prove your hate hypothesis correct? The odds are against you sir… or ma’am.
The Wee Free Men
This was the first Discworld book that I ever read—not my first Pratchett book, but my first Discworld novel—and so it holds a special place in my heart. Thus, you can imagine my distress when I once again saw reviews from people who were giving it one or two stars because of their own personal issues with things like shipping, following instructions, or understanding what “used” book means when they buy a used copy. Also, one person even said that the book is delightfully hilarious… then gave it two stars. I don’t… understand.
It actually took me a while to find a one-star review for the book itself, which is understandable. It’s Terry Pratchett and it’s Terry Pratchett for young adults. Tiffany Aching is simply delightful and Wee Free Men is an outstanding entry into Discworld for younger folks, in my opinion. Or older ones! It deserves every five-star rating its got. However, I did eventually manage to find a couple of one-star ratings that did amuse me.
Review #2
This first one is scathing, but incredibly well thought out. It actually made me reconsider my own enjoyment of the book. Maybe I’m wrong!
Review #3
This next review has a few more words, but I’m not sure that it had more thought put into it than the first one.
You know what, Stewart, you’re right. This isn’t appropriate reading for elementary-age children… which is probably why its target audience is thirteen and up, not, you know, eleven. Last I checked Junior High and High School aren’t the same as Elementary School, but I guess I could be wrong. I’m not a teacher, but I can read, and that includes being able to read the results of an incredibly quick Google search that confirmed for me that Wee Free Men is written for ages thirteen and up.
Also, if you think this book is bad for elementary school kids, it’s a good thing you probably didn’t also read Wintersmith to a bunch of eight-year-olds.
Review #4
Okay, I’ve got one more Wee Free Men review and then I’ll move onto the fifth review.
Yeah… you’re… you’re right. This isn’t one of them. It’s for young adults. The target audience is… I don’t know why this book was in the adult section, but I just demonstrated that a quick google search will tell you it doesn’t belong there. Also, a book having a different age target than your own doesn’t warrant a one-star rating but whatever.
Hogfather
When I first thought of doing this, I thought it would be a little easier to find some funny one-star reviews of Pratchett’s work. Turns out it’s a lot more challenging than I thought. Most of the books that have poor ratings stop at two stars, not one. I guess I’m not surprised since Pratchett’s work is outstanding and he was knighted for being a grade-A genius, but it makes it a little hard to find content for this post when all I can find are reviews praising his books!
That said, I did find some reviews for Hogfather that I found hilarious, and while I originally said I’d just do five reviews, I think I gotta do six because the last of these is just too good. This first one is… I dunno, misguided?
Review #5
I don’t know about y’all, but this all sounds like praise to me apart from the last line. She called it weird fantasy, the strangest and most unusual book she’s ever read, and she complimented his imagination, claiming she thinks it’s so outstanding that he must have been on drugs throughout the writing process. All of this sounds like the makings of a five-star rating!
Review #6
Now, this next one just had me laughing. I don’t have any real comments on it, I just found it funny.
It’s that last line, y’all—it just kills me. Yes, the god of lost socks amused me. Weird. I can’t stop reading it. I love it.
Conclusion
Okay, so those were just a few one-star Terry Pratchett reviews that I found that I thought were pretty funny! I originally said I’d do five, but I managed to scrounge up six that I wanted to share! I think I might do this again in the future with a longer list, maybe ten or so? Depends on whether or not I can actually find them. I’ll think about it! It was pretty fun, if a little heartbreaking at times. I mean, one person said that she loved Hogfather but gave it one-star because she didn’t have time to read it! That did not warm my heart to read, I’ve gotta say. Don’t be that person.
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Until next time, bye!