Judging Books I Haven't Read Based Solely on Their Titles
Today, I’m doing something a little weird: I’m judging books I haven’t read. I’m not going off their covers or their descriptions, either. I’m just looking at the titles of the books. Who knows, maybe I’ll find something interesting I want to read by doing this! Or, maybe someone reading this post will find something that they want to read. I’ll have links to all of the books that I mention down below, too, in case one of them does catch your eye.
In order to do this, I just went to Amazon, went to the books category, picked fantasy, and started scrolling. I’m trying to stick to books I haven’t heard anything about until this instant, so if I come across a book that I’ve heard of, I’ll be passing that over. I’m only rating book titles that are new to me!
Also, just a note, I am in no way endorsing any of these, but I’d love to hear if someone has read any of them and whether or not they’re terrible or wonderful. Ah, and a final thing: I’m probably going to be mean. Sorry, I’m really not mean normally, I’m just gonna try to be mean, today. I’ll do my best. We’ll see how it goes.
The Peacekeeper by B. L. Blanchard
This one is odd because the title has Peacekeeper as one word, but then it’s broken into two words on the cover, but whatever. Creative choice, I guess. It’s a pretty generic title that doesn’t interest me all that much. However, I like that it’s short and to the point, rather than practically being a synopsis of the book like some titles can be. Overall, it’s only slightly above average, so 3 stars for this one.
The Druid by Jeff Wheeler
All right, this one is at least a little interesting, but it also suffers from being generic. I feel like a lot of books could be titled The Druid. It’s sort of a “catch-all” title. But again, like the previous one, it’s straightforward, simple, and not overly inflated. Still, it doesn’t quite capture me like a title should. However, after checking out the author, he appears to be pretty well-established, so the name will likely sell the book more than the title does in this case. I’m going to give it 3 stars just like the last one.
Friday the Witchteenth by Amanda M. Lee
Holy crap, there are twenty books in this series. It definitely seems to be like a serial series of some kind, and apparently, a lot of people are into it. The title is silly, honestly. If that’s meant to set the tone of the book as over-the-top and comical, then it’s great. But if this is a more serious mystery like the attached genre implies, then… it’s extremely odd. Unfortunately, at least based on reviews, I can gather that it’s not really intended to be a joke. So with that, I’m going to drop it to 2 stars. It’s not an unbearable title, and it’s at least different so it isn’t getting one star—I don’t think I’d see many other titles with the word Witchteenth in them, it’s just odd in a bad way.
The Twice-Scorned Lady of Shadow by Annette Marie
Oh, so close. I actually thought this was going to be a winner before I clicked on it and the title finished unraveling. The Twice-Scorned Lady is a pretty interesting title (or even just The Twice-Scorned), but then they had to tack on that classic of shadow at the end. That alone dropped the rating for me. It’s less that the title is a mouthful and more that it went from an interesting title to one that has one of the most common phrases I see in fantasy on it: of Shadow. I mean, come on. Please. This could have been a really cool title! Unfortunately that of Shadow is always going to make me cringe a little.Honestly, even if the words had been shuffled around it wouldn’t have been so bad. Shadow of the Twice-Scorned would be a pretty interesting title, too, if a little generic given that Shadow of is something we see almost as often as of Shadow (yeah, I’m calling out my own favorite read of 2022, here).
Anyway, because of that of Shadow suffix, I’m having to drop this down to 2 stars.
System Escape by Tom Larcombe
This one didn’t stand out to me until I saw the cover. What made me curious isn’t the title, it’s the title and cover combination. It doesn’t appear to be a straightforward science fiction story, as I may expect from a title containing the word System. The cover features some sort of Cthulhu-like being on the cover. That’s a pretty interesting combination. Unfortunately, though, I’m not considering the covers in this judgment, it’s purely the title. System Escape is definitely the more interesting of the titles I’ve seen thus far, but that really isn’t saying much at this point. The title alone just isn’t enough to pique my interest, and it’s fairly forgettable. I’m going to drop 3 stars on this one, too. It feels too common.
Tongue Eater by John Bierce
Gonna be honest, my first thought of this was why is erotica showing up in this category, but apparently it isn’t erotica, at least based on the description. That kinda just makes the title Tongue Eater a little more bizarre to me, but hey… maybe I’m just weird. I mean, I know that I’m weird, but I like to think my mind is constantly in the gutter. You get me? So Tongue Eater standing out as just an oddly kinky cover probably isn’t a good thing. It is eye-catching, though! So I guess there’s that. So yeah, it accomplishes its goal, it’s interesting and memorable, but I don’t think it’s interesting or memorable for the reason it wants to be and doesn’t really make me want to pick up the book. Will I remember the title? Yes. Will I read the book? Not just based on the title, no. 3 stars.
Dang, lots of average titles popping up for me, right now.
The Last Witch of Kalhoun Holler by Michael Anderle
Okay, now this is a pretty good cover. It gives me a decent enough idea of what it’s about and it doesn’t seem like a title I’ve already seen. I’m tempted to give it five stars mainly just because I’ve been bombarded by covers I don’t particularly like during this entire exercise. However, it does commit what I have found to be a significant sin when it comes to the title, synopsis, and blurb of any book: unique names. Kalhoun Holler is unique to this story, at least as far as I can tell. We haven’t even picked up the book and already we’ve been given the name of what I can assume is a place, and that name is a bit of a mouthful no less. This is something that I think depends on personal taste, but that I have learned from speaking with many authors and agents is kind of a “no-no”. So I’m dropping it down to 4 stars. Still a decent title! Just shy of being excellent.
I did decide to read the blurb of this one just because the title did interest me, but again I was bombarded by all sorts of unique names and the like which pretty much lost me. I learned next to nothing about the book and was instead expected to care about what happens to characters I haven’t even met. This is kinda the problem with doing things like this in books. I’m not attached to your characters, so I do not care what happens to them. Tell me what it’s about, don’t tell me about Ms. Brickelwood who also goes by Mama B. That’s just free advice. You’re all welcome.
Fight Where I Am by Martha Carr and Michael Anderle
This is what I’m talking about. This is a title that doesn’t follow standard title formulas. It isn’t a complete sentence, it isn’t a traditional title, and it grants me some intrigue and curiosity. Fight Where I Am could be about all sorts of things, and I don’t think it’s a title that a lot of people are going around using. It drew me in and made me read about it. I’m actually going to give the title for this book 4 stars.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t really drawn to read it once I read the blurb. It’s the sixth book in a series; I took a chance and went to read the blurb for the first and… eh. Again, there are just problems here and things that turn me away. I will say that several of the covers in the series were decently creative, so that’s a positive (though a couple of them were also pretty cringe-inducing).
The Change by Kirsten Miller
This one did invoke curiosity in me. It’s straightforward, simple, and is also marketed as a standalone novel (also a plus when checking out a new author when I know nothing about the writer). The title is gripping and to the point, but it does also suffer from things like being unsearchable and too simple. You would need to remember both the author’s name and the title in order to find it if someone happened to recommend it to you, and even then you’re likely to forget something like if it is recommended to you. Still, I like the simplicity of it, and the cover is also rather pretty (but that’s not what I’m judging here).
Maybe this is just me being nice because I’ve gone through so many covers that were average or worse, today, but… I’m actually going to give this one four stars. I feel like it could do with another word or two to provide more interest and uniqueness, but overall it’s a title that gets me interested in checking out the blurb of the book.
Oh, I did check out the blurb, and… yeah, this is definitely not for me. But I’m sure someone out there would like it. Probably not anybody watching this video, though. If menopausal fantasy is a subgenre you’re into, then hey, this is the book I’d say you should read.
Night of Masks and Knives by LJ Andrews
Honestly, this has got to be my least favorite trend in book titles, right now. I’m growing exhausted by it. You have three nouns, you have the word “of” and you have the word “and”. There’s your title. Seriously, pick three nouns and fill in the blanks like a Madlib and you’ve got a 21st-century fantasy book title. Cord of Water and Curtains. Window of Cameras and Lamps. Door of Rugs and Shirts. There you go, I just made a trilogy.
My utter disdain for this trend is definitely going to contribute to how I’m feeling about this title. Ultimately, what would have been a unique title many years ago now just looks like every other title around it. I understand the importance of hopping on trends in some respects, but eventually, you’re just going to get lost in the crowd. This title does not make me want to pick up the book at all because it sounds like every other book title I’ve heard about in recent memory.
I’m going to give it 2 stars. There’s at least some intrigue in the title… kind of? And it wouldn’t have been a bad title all that long ago, it’s just a bad title now because it’s mirroring hundreds upon thousands of other books out there. So, 2 stars to this one.
Conclusion
And that’s… it. That’s ten, which is what I wanted to do. Honestly, I’m disappointed. I thought I was going to come across a title that really caught my eye and made me want to pick up a book. Something I haven’t seen before and that makes me wonder what the story is about. The only titles that came significantly close were The Last Witch of Kalhoun Holler and Fight Where I Am, both of which wound up being nos from me after reading blurbs and first pages. That’s the nature of the writing business, though.
All of this is entirely subjective, of course! Clearly, someone out there enjoys these titles given that several of these books have sold quite well. If you happen to check any of these out, awesome! I’d love to hear about whether you enjoyed or despised what you read.